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Tuesday, July 12th, 2005

Posted by:ex_karissa713.
Time:10:27 pm.
so lately i've been thinking that somebody has been listening to my phone calls so i have to click over every 2 seconds to make sure that nobody is on the other line listening to me.
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Thursday, September 16th, 2004

Subject:cardiff afterlife
Posted by:inaspecialway.
Time:2:22 am.
Mood: pissed off.
oh, fuck, i've read about one of the songs on manic's "lifeblood". i'm fucking scared to hear that ..........music, so to say. i can't stop thiking about it. any time when i stop thinking about something usefull just for a moment my head is blown with CARDIFF AFTERLIFE. it's pulsing in my fucking head and i can't help it. S.O.S.!
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Thursday, September 2nd, 2004

Posted by:inaspecialway.
Time:11:54 am.
Mood: exhausted.
yesterday there was unbelievable thing: one of my ex-friends came to me to talk & sad that she wants to be friends again! oh, no! and all this after ignoring me for months, talking about nothing & blaming me being selfish with our friends?! i thought about that relations so so ma-a-any times, i blamed myself, blamed her, blamed them, i couldn't see those people, couldn't think of them without pain, i became really PARANOID about all that stuff!!! i don't think it will work. i can't think about lost friendship now. but after telling her how i felt all this time & what i was thinking, i'm not paranoid any more, i won't think about it, i won't blame myself. i'm happy to lose this paranoia, it's much easier to live without it.
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Posted by:inaspecialway.
Time:11:34 am.
Mood: irritated.
have u ever heard about being watch-paranoid?
so i'm watch-paranoid now... i bought new watch recently. after a few months of not wearing watch at all i felt rather uncomfortable. once i read one silly article about common bad habbits most of the people have. one was wearing watches on left arm. "bullshit" i thought then. but now taking my watch in the morning i can't stop thinking about "harm" of wearing watch on my left arm. i'm becoming crazy putting it on! so i can't wear watch on my left arm even for five minutes.
now i'm with my watch on the RIGHT arm completely satisfied & thinking what a shit all this i've written.
am i going insane?
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Wednesday, September 1st, 2004

Posted by:inaspecialway.
Time:1:18 pm.
Mood: angry.
fucking shit - i'm in uni again!
oh, i really love to study, i like learning new things, i want to work in the lab. I DO! it's so great to study.
i hate those dumb arseholes who entered university just to spend some more pleasant years of their youth doing nothing & not thinking about future!they fucking think that their kind parents will take care of their fucking future while they don't do anything useful. and noone cares what people they'll become.
yeah, that's great, don't pay any attention, let them become lazy bastards, noone really cares! but i can't imagine my country in some years when this smallminded animals grow up and try to work.won't we die on the ruins of our homes?
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Thursday, August 19th, 2004

Posted by:axsolitaryxrose.
Time:10:05 am.
Mood: nervous.
Hello, I'm Jackie.

I think I'm paranoidCollapse )

If thats not paranoia, I'm sorry cause I just know there's something wrong with me and people describe me as paranoid.
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Tuesday, August 10th, 2004

Posted by:inaspecialway.
Time:12:33 am.
i became a fucking paranoid about cooking. i really love cooking and it's kinda hobby for me. i read all books and magazines on cooking and choose different dishes I'd like to taste. i like the process of cooking, it's so interesting and ... relaxing. it brings real pleasure for me. but when i see the dish i think: oh fuck, it's awful, i looks like shit, i can't cook, i'm a complete looooser in cooking. and the most awful thing is that i EAT!!! i can't do anything with myself: maybe i should cook and throw away my dishes? it depresses me, it fucking does! i wanna explode my kitchen, fuck it. fuck me. fuck the food.
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Friday, July 30th, 2004

Posted by:jenix.
Time:5:25 pm.
i was having a day sleep lately and all of a sudden my insides started shakin' terribly. i was scared to death... maaan. but as i was still asleep different creepy thoughts. it seemed to me that my house was shaking. and i live on the 13th floor of a 16-stored building. i started imagining what to do not to die and stuff. i almost began collecting things like money and documents... luckily i had to leave for a date, so i had a good reason to escape.
my house is still standing. my insides are also ok. but at times i think that the house is gonna fall anyway. it is kinda old (25 years) so maybe i'm right.

gosh, i hate my paranoias
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Monday, July 12th, 2004

Posted by:pharanoia.
Time:12:21 am.
hi all, I'm new here. I've been paranoid for most of my entire life, but I always knew it was irrational (but could never convince myself that my paranoia was irrational enough to let go of). I just recently began opening up (a little bit) about it with a therapist, but now I am beginning to grow suspicious that she is talking about it with my significant other behind my back.

so I'm changing therapists. great, huh? :/
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Monday, May 31st, 2004

Subject:some shit
Posted by:inaspecialway.
Time:12:43 am.
Mood: depressed.
if i'm skinny i'll lose my sex. SHIT. i'm not skinny at all. i'll never lose my sex and it's shit.
my mind - blessed or cursed to have it? i dunno. i'm suffering of any thought but i can't imagine myself being a silly barbie-girl. oh. it's such a shit!
i try to do anything, try to work hard, try to be better. but i always fail. again and again. i'm failing all my shitty life through. i can't achieve anything. i'm losing every battle i start. i'm sinking in shit. i hate my life, i hate myself, i hate everything 'cos it's all shit. i open my eyes and i see shit, i talk to some people and the only thing i hear is shit, i'm doing something and i get shit as a result of hard work, i think of the world i live in and i have shit in my mind.
maybe, the reason of it isn't shit.
maybe, it's not my paranoia.
maybe, the reason is that... i'm shit.
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Wednesday, May 26th, 2004

Posted by:burn_my_wings.
Time:9:08 pm.
Mood: sleepy.
well.. I'm new! I guess I may be a little paranoid...
Like, I can never do anything wrong because I know somehow, someway, my mom is always going to find out. Always. There are alot of things I just don't do because I come up with this crazy ass scenarios about her finding out.
Then, there's the fact that when I am home alone and I hear noises and see things out of the corner of my eyes, I start panicking (getting panic attacks) thinking there are ghosts in the house and I am going to be killed by some unknown spirit haunting me.
Other times when I am home alone I think there is someone real in the house and they are going to chop me up in little peices.
Paranoia could also be like, when you think people are ALWAYS talking about you, right? And not even good, just always bad. I can't help it, I ALWAYS think people are talking bad about me behind my back all the time. Every little look or a certain way someone says something sets off my mind into this spiralling effect of things. Bad scenarios, again. And I always think the worst is gonna happen.

as for other things: My emotions are all over the place. People tell me I have borderline personality disorder, or Histrionic Personality Disorder. I was anorexic, but I got over it. I have a tendancy to be able to get over things like that. Except cutting, but yeah. Okay. Well I have to go now, my phone is ringing.

(btw, I'm sixteen)
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Wednesday, May 12th, 2004

Subject:I'm new ...
Posted by:without_a_sigh.
Time:12:12 am.
Mood: worried.
Finally I decided that I need some help. Well...whenever I hear someone outside at night I think someone is trying to break into my home and trying to hurt me and my family. This also happens when I hear the wooden floors settle. [Really weird I know, lol] And this only happens during the spring/summer and fall seasons, never winter [maybe it's because no one is out then].

'Just because you're paranoid don't mean they're not after you.' Nice, lol.

Enough of me blabbling.
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Wednesday, May 5th, 2004

Posted by:jenix.
Time:12:45 am.
i guess i'm really mentally sick...
yesterday i heard strange noise from the kitchen when there was NO-ONE in the whole house except me.
today i had voices in my head (like dialogs in a book) and visual hallucinations of my furniture being broken.
i need to see a doctor i guess...
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Tuesday, May 4th, 2004

Posted by:jenix.
Time:1:31 am.
i have a strong believe that i'll die soon because of health problems. i've got a paranoia of having a brain-growth: my head is dizzy all the time, my eyesight and hearing are getting worse and worse, it's really hard for me to move on - i feel like i'm gonna stop the next second unable to make another step.
i know it's silly and that all my problems are invented but i'm still eally scared.
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Posted by:jenix.
Time:1:05 am.
i'm finding lotsa paranoias in me lately. it seems like i'm paranoid about thousands of things.
the latest one is: 'people are avoiding and ignoring me'. not all of them, but my volleyball team-mates. but at the same time i know too well that it's all bullshit - we had a very nice training on wednesday and everything was ok... paranoid, what else to say? )))
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Tuesday, April 20th, 2004

Posted by:jenix.
Time:12:28 am.
me and inaspecialway made this community to talk about symptoms and displays of all kinds of mental diseases, especially paranoia. you are all welcomed to describe how crazy you are )))

you can post in here even if you're not a member of our community.
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LiveJournal for paranoid_babes.

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You're looking at the latest 16 entries.